Before joining the Air Force, I originally signed up for the Army National Guard. It was the 80s, and President Regan was pouring money into the military whose reputation had suffered considerably from the Vietnam War. There was a huge effort to build up the ranks and a lot of appealing reasons to join, especially if you were a rebel without a clue, like me. I thought the National Guard was a great choice because after basic and technical training, I would come back home. It was one of the first times in life I learned there is always a catch.
Enlistments were through the roof and I actually had to wait a year before I could go to basic training. I was on the Delayed Enlistment Program, and still had to attend the monthly guard weekends even though I had no training. On one of those weekends, my unit was slated to go out into the field and I was initially told that I didn’t have to go because I hadn’t been to basic training, had no gear, etc. All I had to do was show up on Friday around 5 p.m. and sign in. So, I showed up in my cream colored, Don Johnson jacket (Miami Vice) and the only pair of nice jeans I had because I had date with Terri that night. The next thing I know, I’m riding in the back of an army truck squished between two guys who actually had uniforms, training and gear. We ended up in some field and I fell out of the truck into a mud puddle. Well, it was a cool jacket. Then, I heard someone yell, “Gas Gas Gas!!” Everybody else had a gas mask and got my first experience with unfiltered tear gas. Not recommended. I spent the rest of the weekend helping put up tents and doing other grunt work. I guess they wanted to show me what I was in for. The following Monday morning, I signed up for the Air Force.
You never know how the things you are going through at this moment will affect your future moments. As a young martial artist, I wanted to be a well-known and feared fighter. I didn’t really enjoy a lot of the technical aspects of my training back then, things like kata (forms) or the basics. And I had some good teachers along the way who took the time to impart some hard earned wisdom that I would not appreciate until decades later. It’s funny how you reach a certain age and finally realize what the people in your life were trying to tell you but you’re too young, too full of your own ideas to listen. There are several periods I wish I could revisit and reinvest my time, knowing what I know now. But, that time is over.
There is a season for all of the experiences we have in life. A time for suffering, and joy, a time for embarrassment and praise, a time for mourning and celebration. There is a time for comfort and a time for pain. A time for anguish and time for the quiet and peaceful moments, short as they are, for calm and happiness. This philosophy comes from the Book of Ecclesiastes; even if you're not a fan the Bible, it’s a short and worthwhile read. You have to sift through some confusing parts first, but the take-away is clear. At least, The Byrds thought so; “To everything, turn, turn, turn….” Something tells me God didn’t get any royalties or recognition for that one.
After 20 years of having a mission, a title and uniform, I retired from the military and went through a very difficult period where I was angry and frustrated a lot of the time. I spent the first couple of years looking for a way back in; Air National Guard, ROTC, etc. But there was no going back. I had a season for military service and that season ended. I loved being a father to young boys who enjoyed pillow fights, hide and seek and trampoline wars as much as did. I had a great time being the guy with all the answers; you can do that when your kids are young. But they grew up to be strong, independent men…and that season ended. There was a time when I could take the impact of multiple throws onto thin mats, a time when I could easily round-house or hook kick to the head; but my back and hips will tell you that season has definitely ended. There was a time when I was married to the woman I thoroughly believed I would spend the rest of my life with; we built a family and a relationship on love, trust and faith. But that season with her, ended. That’s the way it is; it’s not always your choice.
However, it's not only good things that come to an end; bad things eventually end as well. Some times it takes a lot longer, or at least it feels that way, but pain is not permanent. The struggle I had after leaving the military shaped the next decade of my life; without that initial struggle, I never would have opened a dojo. And when I have the opportunity to be with my kids, we sip bourbon, throw sharp objects, poke fun at each other and enjoy a bond that only fathers and their adult sons have. And because I never stopped training in martial arts, I have developed “body wisdom” over the years that allows me to continue to learn new things all of the time. Finally, all of the wonderful and difficult moments I had with Terri helped to shape the man that I hope I am for Kim. Yes, another difficult season of cancer, but I’ve been down this road before and I know there is a light at the end. And a time for sitting on the back deck together with a nice bottle of wine, good music, family and friends. There will be a time for laughter, for joy and for peace.
Terri’s favorite book was The Last Battle, the final book in The Chronicles of Narnia written by. C. S. Lewis. In the end, Aslon (Jesus) takes all of the characters that endured the seasons of life on earth on a never-ending journey through Heaven. Running faster and faster until they are no longer running but flying over unimaginable beauty. When I find myself missing “Terr,” I think of her flying around with Aslon. And I want to go…I want us all to go, but it’s not time yet. We have things to do, people who need us in ways we may never know. Experiences to have, good and bad. Seasons that allow us to appreciate the next chapter.
I am honored to go through these seasons with you.
Dave Magliano
Tatsu Dojo
Jissenkan Budo
Dojo Cho
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