How Martial Arts Affects Teens

Young men training in the "first Tatsu Dojo."

Growing up is not for the faint of heart, especially the teen years.  Now, everyone has different memories of this time of life; some of us loved high school and have fond memories, for example,…me, not so much. As a teen, you want to hold on to your childhood, but at the same time want nothing more than to grow up. You begin to realize, falsely of course, that your parents are fallible which tends to cause occasional resentment or at the very least, indifference. And then someone flips the switch on your pituitary gland and all hell breaks loose. You start dealing with these things called emotions that seem to have no one at the helm.  It can be a rough time.

Not too long ago, we were at a party with someone who I went to high school with.  She we as a couple of years behind me and I didn’t know her at the time.  Fact is, I knew very few people.  She has wonderful memories of high school; teachers, sports and lots of friends and that’s awesome.  I wish everybody had that kind of experience.  For me, high school was a time of fear, self doubt and well, violence.  I was chubby, quiet, uncoordinated and unconfident; a bad combination in the 70s and 80s.  It made me and others a target for bullying that extended far beyond a few negative comments on Facebook.  I had great parents who encouraged me to rise above all that, but getting bullied was more or less a part of growing up, and keep in mind, nobody ever brought guns to school.  Very different times.

In my case, I tried to become part of the athletic crowd (jocks) and joined the wrestling team.  It was the first time I’d ever participated in a sport and needless to say, I didn’t fair well.  Most of the guys on my team started wresting in middle school.  They understood the rigors of the sport, had gone to summer wrestling camps, that sort of thing.  And like most coaches, ours preferred winners and had very little time for young men who had no physical skill and tended to be non-aggressive and fearful…like me.  I like to joke about him now and I don’t hold any grudges, but I will say I got bullied on and off the mat and this was all considered normal.  I made it through my freshman year with absolutely now wins, not even close.  I joined the team again in my sophomore year, but my grades and my attitude plummeted and much to my hidden relief, I had to quit.  This had even more impact on my confidence and sense of self and I struggled over the next couple of years, barely passing my junior year.

In the summer before my senior year, my best friend and I were driving around Cincinnati and noticed a little Kunf Fu school in Norwood.  A huge Bruce Lee fan, I asked my buddy (Dave) to check it out with me.  We went inside and saw a small, thin woman practicing Tai Chi.  Having never seen anything like these slow graceful moments before, I thought it was kind of funny.  She asked my name and then challenged me to allow her to “push” me with one of those graceful movements.  She knocked me back several feet with a simple but effective technique and I singed up that day.  I’ve been training in martial arts ever since.  I think everyone has at least one moment that impacted them early in life and that one is mine.  I met people from all kinds of backgrounds, far different than my middle class, socially isolated neighborhood.  I trained at the kwoon (dojo) three days a week and gained confidence, self-respect and most importantly, friends and mentors.  People I desperately needed.  My senior year in high school was the best ever, just shy of a 4.0 grade point average.

I started my kids in the martial arts early in their lives, but I think the most impactful period was their teen years.  Even though they had other pursuits and interests, I made sure they trained with me on a frequent basis.  There is something unique about the discipline and experience involved in martial arts training.  And before long, they invited some of their friends and all of the sudden, we had the Magliano Dojo on Autumn Wynd Lane.  No heat, no air conditioning in that two car garage.  Those kids not only had to learn how to avoid punches and kicks, but also being impaled by all of the yard equipment hanging on the walls.  I made them run with me up to the high school during the summer; we’d train in our driveway, in the back yard and at the park at a spot affectionally known as “Goose Poop Island.”  I’ll let you figure out why.  Now in their thirties and with families of their own, still the best of friends with fond memories of their teen years.

A dojo can be a life-changing experience for a teenager, especially one that follows the philosophy of budo:  self-perfection first, self-protection second.  The latter is a natural consequence of the former if you are in the right atmosphere.  A budo dojo places less emphasis on competing with others and more on competing with yourself.  It stresses respect, discipline and cooperation.  And it’s nothing like “Cobra Kai.”  No bullies to deal with, no coaches to impress.  In our case, no competition other than the demands each person places on themself. No medals, no patches and no trophies.  Rank is earned slowly as is respect from others.  Kids learn that discipline is not something you acquire; rather, it is something that one builds over time from constantly placing themselves in uncomfortable situations, dealing with things like pain and frustration.  Of course, kids can get this kind of training from other pursuits and sports, but budo is a completely different experience.

Martial arts training is far more than just learning how to beat people up.  In fact, it can have very little to do with that.  Yes, in the right place and atmosphere, you will learn how to protect yourself.  But training under a seasoned teacher who creates and demands the unique environment of a budo dojo can be life-changing.  Trust me on that one.

Dave Magliano

Tatsu Dojo

Jissenkan Budo

Dojo Cho