The fear of pain and the possibility of getting hurt are two of the main reasons why many people avoid martial arts training. Everyone experiences pain once in a while. The average person who goes to the gym on a regular basis is used to a certain amount of muscular strain and fatigue. The difference is in who “creates” the pain; obviously in the latter example, the individual has complete control. If you haven’t worked out in a while and go back to the gym, you may cut back on sets and reps, knowing that you’re going be sore. Maybe you’ll jog at a slower pace or take a tai chi class instead of aerobics until you’re able to get back on a routine. But you control the pain. And the average person tries to avoid pain in all of its many forms.
Depending on the style, the teacher and dojo, you cannot avoid pain in good martial arts training. That’s right, good, authentic, sincere martial arts training has various levels of pain and discomfort. I have written about this before, but It’s Supposed To Hurt. Hurt your body, hurt your mind and definitely hurt your ego. Having practiced for nearly 40 years, I feel I have the background to say without apology, that if you are training in a place where you always feel good yourself and you never have to worry about getting hurt or your ego bruised…you are definitely not in a dojo. A martial arts spa, maybe...but not a dojo.
Authentic martial arts dojos where pain and discomfort are constant companions are becoming a rare thing. Perhaps it has to do with a culture of self importance, of feeling as though respect is a right rather than something earned. Maybe it’s the fear of lawsuits or a failed business. If martial arts is your business, it is very difficult to attract new students if you tell them up front, “Oh by the way, this is going to hurt a lot. You’re going to be sore, your joints will ache, you will definitely get hit and bruised. And you will learn to deal with discomfort, disappointment and humiliation on a regular basis. Sign here.”
If I were a smart martial arts business owner, I would take one of the many “professional” certification programs out there designed to help me get more students. A major part of these of these programs involves instruction on how to coach and inspire. The curriculum typically has input from psychologists and other mental health professionals, most of whom have never stepped on a mat. Give me break. The best and most inspirational teachers I ever had were hard-nosed, seasoned men who had their share of fights and harsh training. These men, all them, had experienced the realities of life in some way, whether it was financial struggles, relationship issues…loss of a loved one. They applied their martial knowledge to whatever life situation they had and dealt with it. They learned how to take the hits and taught me to do the same. That’s what it’s all about.
In our dojo, you will find a healthy mix of styles, techniques and philosophies. From karate; striking, kicking and bone/body conditioning. Learning how to take the hits. From aikido; blending, pinning, projecting. Learning how to take the hits. From jujutsu; falling, rolling, throwing, grappling. Learning how to take the hits. Our advanced classes frequently involve partner drills wherein we punch and kick each other in the gut or on the legs. Students learn how to take the pain of a joint lock; they learn what it’s like to be choked, how it feels to be thrown...really thrown. The longer you are here, the more you learn about how to endure pain. Not on the first day, not within a month. Everyone is different and has to arrive at these tolerance levels at their own pace and that’s totally cool with me. But…you have to be willing go there. I cannot help you grow, cannot teach you anything if you’re just along for the ride.
Some teachers derive great pleasure in seeing their students win competitions or make their next belt. I love it when a person who has been here for a while says to a newer student, “Hit me harder.” “You’re not hurting me enough to make me tap out.” “You’re not chocking me and I can still breathe.” They’ve learned to take the hits. And the new folks who watch some of the senior students think to themselves that they’ll never be able to do what these people do. Sure you can. Not today, not in a month, but in time with consistent practice and attendance, you'll learn how to take the hits. By the way, that’s life.
Those of us who struggle the most in life typically try to avoid pain at all costs. Can I give you some old man advice? Discipline is the outcome of some form of pain. You cannot achieve discipline without pain. Are you struggling with debt? You need to practice financial discipline through the pain of denial...not buying stuff you don’t absolutely need. Stop comforting yourself with money. Tired of being anxious and out of shape? Practice discipline by denying yourself poor food choices. Get used to a little discomfort and start taking walks every day. Do it often. Stop placating yourself with food and laziness. No, you deserve it. Want to have a stronger relationship with the people you love? Practice the discipline of love and be humble. Give in once in a while, even if you know you’re right. Allow yourself to feel the pain of putting others first. Want to have a stronger connection with God? Stop looking at all the crap out there that is divergent to whatever path you claim to be on. Faith is the outcome of spiritual discipline derived from the pain of self denial.
And what do you get from discipline? Freedom. Freedom from debt. Freedom from illness and disease the plague the average person because they can’t seem to get their butt off the couch. Freedom from loneliness and unhappiness. Freedom from the prison of self indulgence. Life will still hurt, still throw you a curveball once in a while. But the more you allow yourself to take the hits, the less it hurts. You get used to it, learn how to deal with it and move on.
We are all capable of such discipline. We are not all willing. If you are in search of something like this for your life, I happen to know a place...
Dave Magliano
Tatus Dojo
Jissenkan Budo
Dojo Cho
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