Ever hear the story of a man wrestling with God? Allow me to give you the Cliff Notes. The father of an entire nation (Abraham) had two sons. The younger Jacob stole the birthright of the older Esau. Birthrights were kind of a big deal in ancient history. Anyway, Jacob is on the run from his brother whom he believes is coming to destroy him and his family. Somewhere in the desert, Jacob finds himself “wrestling” with a man and subsequently has his hip dislocated. Ouch. Long story short: Jacob cannot run away. Esau does not destroy but embraces him. And Jacob fulfills his purpose...and becomes Israel. Genesis 32:22-32. The fulfillment of a destiny and prophecy would never have happened if Jacob had been able to avoid the suffering attached to them.
The point of the story? Life will have struggle and pain. It’s necessary and has a purpose.
Why in the world do we struggle? The first answer is simple; we are still in the world. This is not home, it’s a stopover. A weigh station. A proving ground, perhaps. But while we’re here, we can’t help but ask certain questions. Why do I have this addiction? Why do I have this disease? Why did he leave me? Why did she die?
Hard as it is to grasp and even harder to understand, pain, no matter what form it comes in, has a purpose. Don’t believe me? Let’s start with the simple stuff.
You’re a little kid and you touch the hot stove. Ouch. Now, some of us have to touch the stove a few times, but eventually we learn that heat equals injury. How about this one: You haven’t been to the gym in a long time but you figure you can just hit your old routine from several months, years or decades ago. And you wake up the next day afraid to burp or pass gas because everything hurts. Ouch. Maybe it’s time to hire a trainer.
There is a process in any physical endeavor, e.g. sports, dance, music, martial arts, etc., that involves pain. Nobody ever made a touchdown without years of two-a-day trainings, a ton of hits, tackles...and ice baths. It’s going to hurt. It’s supposed to hurt.
People who spend their lives avoiding pain and suffering also avoid the benefits, the relief and the morning after. The touchdown. But many of us don’t ever see it because we try to hide in comfort, in drugs, in food, in angst…even in ourselves. We isolate and stay angry. Staying angry gives us a sense of control and a reason to avoid pain. When that happens, growth stops and we just “couch it,” content to wait around until something worse or the worst happens. That’s one way to deal with life. The other is to find a way to push through rather than merely drift.
One of the things I appreciate most about Japanese martial arts (Budo) is that the primary goal is self-perfection. Self-protection (defense) is secondary and a natural outcome of good training but it’s not the main purpose. Self-perfection is like a sword being heated, tampered and cooled hundreds of times until it’s purpose is revealed. And pain is the constant companion throughout the process. Sore muscles and bones from dozens of falls, joint locks, striking hard things, getting hit and getting knocked down. Pain from having your ego bruised every time you go to class or train at home. It hurts. It’s supposed to. While other people scoff and seek a more acceptable and easier path, you chose the one less followed by.
You know all this, right? Well, some times it’s nice to have a reminder.
You give up a lot when you chose not to give up. But you gain a whole lot more than you realize. Whether you are training in martial arts, trying to lose weight, raising kids or dealing with loss, it’s going to hurt. It’s supposed to. You are being tempered and forged and while you may not see it now, eventually your purpose will be revealed. There are things in store for you that you can’t possibly imagine. But you have to get through the long night first.
And you will. So, let’s push through. Let’s do what has to be done, even though it hurts some times. Let’s keep moving even though others will roll their eyes and stop along the way. Yours is a different path. It’s going to painful and it’s going to be dark. But in the morning there will be light…and coffee.
Dave Magliano
Tatsu Dojo
Jissenkan Budo
Dojo Cho
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