Dave Lowry is an author and practitioner of several Japanese martial arts, including karate. In his book, The Karate Way, Mr. Lowry poses an important question to his readers: Would you train under a masterful teacher who also happens to be a jerk?
Before I give my answer, allow me to share some experiences with you.
I vividly remember attending a jujutsu seminar with a “master” from Europe who purposely used excessive force on volunteers from the audience to help demonstrate technique. I was one of those volunteers (in Japanese, uke) and he put me in a wrist lock that caused permanent damage. What you have to understand is that uke’s job is to be a practice dummy for educational purposes. You’re not supposed to fight back. I wasn’t the only one he needlessly injured and he actually smiled or laughed when he applied techniques on unsuspecting guys like me. That dude was a jerk.
While living in Japan, I attended a party with a highly respected martial arts teacher. People came from miles around to attend his seminars. During the party, he became one of those drunks that nobody likes to be around; abusing the servers, disrespectful, loud and arrogant. It was one of those situations where you just want to leave early, you know? In that moment, that guy was a jerk.
I attended a karate seminar taught by one of the most prominent professional fighters of the day. He was a phenomenal fighter and had a wicked hook kick. His technical skill alone was more than he needed to win a fight but he incorporated smack talk and taunting during each round. It worked well and I was so pissed off I slipped in a substantial round-house kick to his face before he completely annihilated me. Most of us have the respect to hug each other after fights like that, or at least tap gloves. This guy did neither…he was a jerk.
On the flip side, I had several military instructors during my career that were combat veterans. They were highly trained and skilled and taught me how to stay alive and to save lives. But some of these guys were jerks, displaying a lot of same behavior I describe above. Yet, their expertise undoubtedly led to many lives saved and successful missions. So, where do we draw the line?
To be fair, not all of us can be Mr. Miyagi. We all have faults and behaviors that are less than stellar. Like everyone else, I have opinions and habits that require daily attention and I make mistakes often. The difference for me, at least, is that if I want to describe myself as someone who practices Budo (enlightenment through martial arts training), I need to polish my spirit just as much as my technique.
If you are not very familiar with this concept, budo encompasses modern martial arts such as karate (do), judo, kendo, iado, aikido, etc. All of these arts stem from combat systems now practiced as a means to improve a person’s health, fitness, focus and character. It’s not just about fighting, nor is it a religion but taught and studied properly, any form of budo will enhance all of these things. The goal of such training is to have a positive impact on society as a whole.
To me, a budo teacher must strive to exemplify qualities such as humility, grace, perseverance, fitness, martial prowess, and above all, kindness. Anybody can teach you how fight; not everybody can teach you how to live. I know it sounds a little woo woo, but I absolutely feel that way. You wouldn’t follow advice to lose weight from a fat physician, nor would you have much respect for a pastor who is holy on Sundays but living hellaciously during the week. Again, just my opinion, but a budo teacher should endeavor to be the complete package. However, my stance on this does not entirely come from martial arts.
I am blessed to be the father of two of the most remarkable men I’ve ever known. I am relieved that they take after their mother far more than me. But being “Dad” meant that I had the responsibility to set an example. If I failed to be a man my sons could look up to, how could I possibly expect anything different from them? If my kids grew up watching me being disrespectful to their mom, for example, they would probably treat the women in their lives similarly. The same can be said for such things as physical fitness, work ethic, self-discipline, confidence, etc. Being a parent gives you a chance to help mold and shape another life. It comes with incredible responsibility. Failure to grasp and embrace that responsibility leads not only to broken families, but exponentially a broken society. So yeah, setting the example in word and action as a parent, teacher or martial artist is important.
Tolerance is a popular word in today’s vernacular. More than ever before, there is a growing opinion that everyone has a place in our society and I completely agree. But that doesn’t mean we have to accept poor behavior. Personally, I don’t care where you are from or what your life experience is. Nothing gives you the right to be a jerk. It’s a choice, by the way, not an outcome of whatever has happened to you.
Last thing before I step off my box. If you have the honor of being considered a martial arts teacher, it is incumbent upon you to to keep your sword, as well as your character, sharp and polished. Perfection is not achievable on this side of the dirt, but we should strive for perfection every day.
Dave Magliano
Jissenkan Budo
Dojo Cho
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