In Genesis 32:22-32, we read about Jacob, the only man (apparently) to physically struggle with God. Now, it's kind of hard to picture a puny human trying to do a leg pick on the creator of the universe, and there's all kinds of debate about the reality of this story and, let's face it, the Bible all together. Of course, we can call it an allegory, a story meant to stoke our morality in some way. Whether it is or not, there is always something to be learned and heeded.
If you're unfamiliar with the story, allow me to give you a little synopsis. So, Jacob is on the run from his brother Esau because he stole their father's blessing from his older brother. Typically, a father's blessing and much of his wealth went to his oldest. Now, it wasn't just Jacob, but his clan, which included his family, livestock, possessions, etc., all running across the desert. Knowing they can't escape, Jacob sends Easu a bunch of gifts in an effort to win him over. In essence, doing everything he can to avoid a painful and perhaps lethal confrontation. As the story goes, Jacob is visited by "a man" the night before his showdown with Esau and wrestles with him. Here's the part that confuses me: Jacob more or less puts the dude in a pin and then his opponent "touches" his hip and wrenches it...I assume that means dislocation. If you know me and my struggles with my own hip, you know this hits close to home. Anyway, Jacob now has no way to escape.
But Jacob and his family are not decimated; no, they are greeted, welcomed and loved by Isaac. All that worrying, running and plotting and all Jacob had to do was face up to his fears and transgressions. If you study the Bible even occasionally, you see this is a constant theme throughout the Old and New Testament. I think God knows that we will spend a lifetime struggling to find meaning. I think He wants us to, even if that struggle results in us turning away. He's willing risk it, because if we're willing to step onto the mat, we're going to have to train. We're going to want to understand our opponent. In other words, we're going to have to read a little a bit of the word so we can come up with reasons to fault it. It's in that struggle, I believe, where faith lies for the faithless. It only takes a mustard seed amount of faith to move mountains. Matthew 17:20-21 MSG.
But extremely smart and enlightened people have no time or use for God. I saw an interview with Neil deGrasse Tyson recently and he echoed the battle cry of most intellectuals when it comes to God's existence. He said that when he sees a world full of disease, war and suffering, he can't believe there is a benevolent God. What kind of a god would allow all this suffering? That's the rub, isn't it? Why in the hell would an all loving, all knowing God make allow us to go through hell? It's easier and more enticing to believe in little green men who will someday save the world than it is to believe in God. So here we are in circle on the mat, wearing that goofy headgear and the 100% polyester singlet, facing off with the creator. And just before we're ready to start looking for an opening, we tap out. "Forget this crap" we tell ourselves. "It's not worth my time and effort to wrestle with someone who allows all this suffering." And so, we saunter off to the locker room, confident in our decision to walk away. And to ensure our solidarity with others who feel the same, we snicker and scoff at the opponent we left in the circle. He never leaves the circle, by the way...we do.
I have a scant understanding of God because I study His word. I'm no preacher and certainly no scholar; but I can see the obvious. That doesn't mean I don't wrestle with God. I do...every single day. Why did all of those Philistines have to die in the Old Testament? What do you mean, "there's only one way to heaven?" Why is there sin? Why did Terri have to die? Why is Kim still recovering from cancer? And some times, more than I'd like to admit, I walk away from the circle too. There's nothing worse than a grappling match where you can never get the advantage, constantly on defense. But we are, and we don't want to submit. So, knowing that the opponent is stronger and far more skilled than we'll ever be, we don't engage at all. Nobody likes to be tapped out. The thing is, that's were you learn something. You have to submit.
I've been dealing with a significant hip issue for eight years now. There are a lot of things I can't do anymore; can't kick anybody in the head, can't really do a leg sweep. Getting myself to a low horse stance is impossible. And grappling...I have no mobility. However, this mangled hip has forced me to explore other aspects of my martial arts and I've become stronger and more enlightened in other areas, ones I would have not achieved without this injury slowing me down. This chronic problem has forced me to look at karate, aikido and jujutsu in a much different way than I have before. In this case, at least, I've stayed in the circle. I've known others whose injuries and issues were bigger than their desire to keep going. That's too bad. They tapped out too early.
There is no one on this side of the dirt, not any Bible scholar, preacher, reverend, street evangelist..not even the Pope who will ever master all there is to know about God. We'll never achieve a dominant position. We're not supposed to. We're supposed to keep wresting, keep exploring and keep asking questions. We're supposed to argue, to be frustrated. Be weary of anytime in your life when you think you've got it all figured out. The match lasts our entire lives and throughout the process, we're are to stay strong, keep trying, fight the good fight. We're not ever going to be completely "right with God." Not here, anyway.
Oh, and Jacob? He is given a new name; Israel. "He who wrestles with God." Stay in the circle, my friends.
Dave Magliano
Tatsu Dojo
Jissenkan Budo
Dojo Cho
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