I am a fan pastor and author, Chuck Swindoll. During one of his recorded sermons in the 90s, Dr. Swindoll talked about a young man in seminary who befriended a pregnant, unwed woman taking refuge in an outreach program. The young woman had decided to give her baby up for adaption, though began to struggle with the idea and her situation; she knew she could not afford to raise the child and provide a descent home. As Dr. Swindoll noted, the woman felt tremendous guilt. On the day her child was born, the aspiring seminary student who would later become her husband told her, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”
Many of us have a terrible habit of beating up on ourselves. Some times, there’s good reason; there are lots of things I’ve said and done that still make me wince from time to time. Certain ways I treated people during my military career, times I was a little too harsh on my kids. Things I wish I would have said and would not have said to my first wife. We all carry some that around. But some of us have never quite let ourselves off the hook. Our life today is in some ways, a constant reminder of the mistakes we made yesterday.
Over these many years of teaching martial arts, I’ve seen lots of students berate themselves because they struggle with certain techniques or kata. No matter how many times they try to do a new throw or pin, they just can’t get it right. This is especially true from some newcomers who mistakingly believe they should be able to perform a complex movement right away and get mad at themselves when they can’t. Believe me, I understand where they are coming from; I can’t do a lot things I used to…my arthritic and non-compliant hip sees to that. But I’ve learned something very valuable; just because I was lousy today doesn’t mean I’ll be lousy tomorrow. Tomorrow presents a whole new opportunity, 24 hours in which to improve. Yesterday does not define me.
There was this king in Israel a few thousand years ago…David. Maybe you’ve heard of him. Sheppard boy who slayed a heavily armored, arrogant giant named Goliath using nothing more than a sling and a stone. He won many battles in the name of God, laid the path for his son, Solomon to build the first Holy Temple to honor God. However, he also…stayed safe and sound in Jerusalem instead of leading his army into battle, had an affair with a soldier’s wife and then sent him to the front lines, tried to cover up a pregnancy, and other stuff. And yet, despite all of his flaws, God referred to David as a “man after his own heart.” 1 Samuel 13:14 In my view, there are two takeaways from this: God’s grace is unfathomable and, once we come to terms with our transgressions, we need to lay them down.
But that’s hard for us to do some times, isn’t it? We hang on to our flaws and often build a life around them. We tell ourselves that our poor luck or bad situation is punishment for what we did yesterday…or many yesterdays ago. And we wear it like the scarlet letter around our hearts. It’s kind of like keeping a small tree inside a pot; the sapling has the potential to grow into a wonderful tree that provides shade, food and shelter. But its roots are confined by walls, kind of like the walls we place around ourselves. They are restrictive and painful, a constant reminder of how we messed up. And in the process, we mitigate the power of the One who gave his life to break those barriers once for all. We accept grace, only to return it. That’s not how it’s supposed to work, kids.
Remember your mistakes so that you can work on not repeating them. As another favorite pastor and author of mine said, “it won’t be easy and it won’t be quick, but you’ll get through this.” Max Lucado. Do not allow your flaws to define you. They don’t. Use your regrets as a starting point for the person you want to be. See yourself outside of the little pot that restricts your spirit. You have a lot to give and a lot to do. What we don’t have a lot of…is time.
Don’t waste it. Lay whatever it is down and move on. That was yesterday.
Dave Magliano
Tatsu Dojo
Jissenkan Budo
Dojo Cho
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